Title: Dignity
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: RenoxRude
Rating: Angsty
Summary:
I treasure your love , I never want to lose it
You’ve been through a lot of pain in the dirt, and I know you got the scars to prove it
There’s always something magic, there’s always something true
And when you really, really need it the most that’s when dream come through….for you.

Author’s note: This fic started with the word ‘Dignity’ and me staring at that word for almost a month. The fic was supposed to be significantly shorter, but what can I do?


Dignity. Reno guessed that was what finally made him fall for his new partner, in a way he hadn’t fallen for any one since…well, since so long back it was barely important any longer.

It wasn’t that Rude *had*dignity, lots of people in ShinRa had. The Soldiers had it in their own way, the president had it, Tseng most certainly had dignity.

No, it was the way he treated Reno with dignity. No one had done that in a very long time either.

Reno knew he was partly responsible for that rumor, no fuck that, he was absolutely the one most responsible for his slutty reputation. It was just that after a while it became easier just to play the needy little oversexed bitch than to do anything about it. He always went to Rufus’ office when the president called to bend over obediently over the desk, or ‘work late’ under Tseng’s desk. By now it would have seemed odd if he’d say no to anyone, really. And it wasn’t that he didn’t like it, no, sex was fucking good or else people wouldn’t be doing it, it was just that…

It was just that he sometimes wished they’d treat him with a little more respect, you know? Say something nice. Appreciate the work he did, treat him like more than just a good dog to come running when they wanted him to. Hell, he got lots more appreciation for his work as a Turk. Maybe he should have stuck to that. But it was too late now. Everyone knew he was easy, and treated him like that, and the only way to deal with that was to act even more easy back.

So when he was assigned a new partner, and a damn good looking one at that, they had only worked together for a couple of weeks before Reno climbed into his lap in a dark corner of some seedy bar they were drinking at.
Rude was bigger, more muscular, than most Turks, and Reno liked it. He wriggled on the lap, started loosening the other’s tie with one hand and licked over the closed mouth, begging it to open.

Strong hands grabbed his shoulders and pushed him back.

“No.” Rude said quietly.

“What’s wrong, yo?” Reno asked perplexed. He wasn’t used to being turned down and the growing bulge in the lap underneath him said Rude wasn’t straight either. “C’mon,” he teased, trying to break free, “I know you want me.”

“I want you,” Rude confirmed. “You. The real Reno.”

Reno’s face flushed bright scarlet.

“The Hell is that supposed to mean?!”

“You know what I mean. This slutty thing….isn’t you.”

“You presumptuous bastard!” Reno tore free and threw his glass with beer over Rude; not waiting around to see the sad look behind the dark glasses he stormed out of the bar, desperate to find someone to fuck, fuck into oblivion where he could forget those words and what they meant.


He stumbled back to his ShinRa paid apartment somewhere closer to morning than midnight, drunk and probably smelling of however that guy had been that he picked up in the alley. Or guys. He thought there might have been two of them. Now he just wanted a few hours of sleep before dragging his ass back to office before Tseng threw a fit.

Someone was sitting on the cold stone floor outside his door, probably dozing although he woke the moment Reno stepped up.

“What the Hell are you doing here?” Reno glared down  as Rude came to his feet.

“Waiting for you.”

“I didn’t ask you to!”

“I know.”

Reno’s eyes narrowed as he tried to think through the alcohol.

“Wait, why didn’t you just go inside? It’s not as if this lock is worth shit.”

Rude shrugged.

“I didn’t want to impose on your privacy.”

“Fuck my privacy! Where do you get off, bein’ all this respectful all the time?! You are making an ass out of yourself, you know! They’re probably laughing at you at ShinRa, showing respect to someone like me!” He pushed at Rude’s chest, making him stagger a bit, enough so that Reno could slam in the keys and turn them.  “Go show your damn respect to Tseng or someone! I don’t want it!”

“I don’t care about what they say.” Rude made no move to follow Reno inside the messy apartment. “And if they’re laughing at you, then they are the ones foolish. I know you, Reno, I know…a little about you at least. Enough. You aren’t happy, sleeping around like this. I can see it.”

“You can’t see fuck!” Reno was shocked to realize there were tears running down his cheeks. Where did they come from? “Go away!”

“I would like to come in. Can I?”

Reno stopped, staring at the other Turk for a while, ignoring the tears.

“If I say no. You’d go away. Wouldn’t you?”

“Of course I would.” Rude didn’t move. “Can I come in?”

“Um.” Reno dried his nose on his arm, trying to think. “Um. Yeah. Sure, I guess.” He stepped aside to let Rude past.

To his utter surprise, Rude didn’t walk past him. Instead he stopped and put his arms around Reno, pulling him close against the impeccably dressed chest.

“What the Hell? Let me go, you oaf!” Reno struggled, but vainly, without either real will or thought, sex was one thing but he couldn’t stand this closeness…he realized that Rude must be able to smell that guy on him, smell the sex and the sweat, but the other Turk didn’t let go. If anything, the embrace grew harder and Reno almost panicked.

*Mustgetawaymustgetawaymustgetaway…*

He realized that he sobbed and cried and cursed and hit like a girl (and not a Turk trained girl) on Rude’s chest or back or shoulders wherever he could reach.

“Fuck you,” he whispered, angry and scared and distressed. “Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you….”

But Rude didn’t let go.


Two days later the phone rang at Reno’s office where he was slouching around, waiting for the next assignment.

“Yo.” He lit a cig. “Oh, hi, Mr. President. What, a ‘private meeting’ right now? No can do, sir.” He pulled at the cig. “What, why? Well, why should I? Oh yeah, show me where in my contract it says I’m the ShinRa fuck toy, ‘cause if it does then I want a raise, and not that kind. Yeah. Yeah, it’s my final word, damn it! Sure. Good afternoon to you too, sir.” He gently clicked off the phone and leaned back, grinning around the cig. “Man, that felt good!” He said to nobody in particularly. From the corner of his eye he could see Tseng staring at him and somehow that made him feel even better. He threw a glance at Rude’s desk and blinked.

Very solemnly, Rude lowered his glasses and blinked back.