Title: Not polite
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: some foul language
Pairing: RenoxRude
Summary: What’s in a name? A rose by any other name would smell as fair… (Romeo and Juliette)
Author’s note: Seriously. Why?



“Rude.”

“Yes?”

“Ruuuuuuude….”

“*What*, partner?”

“Ruderuderuderuderude…..ouch! Stop hitting me, yo!”

“My apologies. I must have slipped. What did you want?”

“What’s with that name? Why Rude? You’re like the most polite Turk I know.”

Rude cleared his throat.

“It’s none of ShinRa’s business.”

“It ain’t ShinRa asking, it’s me. Your partner in crime, booze buddy, fuck friend, and the only one who lets you do that thing with the red rubber ball and the leather…”

“Yes, yes,” Rude quickly interrupted. “Why are you asking this now?”

Reno took a swig of beer and shrugged.

“’Cause I only just thought of it.”

“….fine. It’s a nickname.”

“For what?”

“When I joined ShinRa I thought it better to keep my real name hidden, and use one that would inspire a bit more respect, you know?”

“Nickname for what?”

“I never really thought about it since then. I almost forgot.”

“What?” Reno bounced in this chair. “Whatwhatwhat?”

Rude sighed and rubbed his eyes.

“Do you promise not to sing?”

“Eh?”

“Promise!”

“Fine. Fine, whatever, yo, just tell me.”

“…Rudolf. My real name is Rudolf.”

Reno went very quiet, frowning as if he was thinking hard. And then he lit up.

“Rrrrrrrude-olf the red-nosed Tuuuurk….!” He started bawling at the full force of his longue.

“Shut up!”