Title: ShinRa rules for the Christmas party
Author: Enide Dear
..see the title
Rating: Nothing explicit, lots implied
Feedback: Will be adored and squeed over!
Authors note: I wanted to write something with Tseng, but I didnt have any good plot bunny. So I did what I usually do; I drabbled.
If this doesnt confirm my state of mental insanity, I dont know what will
ShinRa rules for the Christmas party
Tseng believed in lists. It kept things nicely organised and structured and helped in remembering when and how things should work out to the greatest satisfaction of his boss. Presently, he was doodling away on the list for the upcoming ShinRa Christmas party as he sipped his morning coffe, drawing on his (admittingly slightly hazy) recollection of previous years parties
1. Tell Reno hes not allowed to screw the president
2. Give Elena tissues for nosebleed in advance. Last year she bitched like hell over her ruined gown.
3. Tell Hojo hes not allowed to bring his research projects to the party
4. Not even as snacks
5. Lock in Hojo in closet, a.s.a.p. TOP PRIORITY
6. Remind Reno - firmly - hes not allowed to screw the president
7. Burn Rudes horribly cheesy glittery Christmas tie
8. Steal Renos prod-rod and use it to keep Elena at bay
9. Remember that spiking the punch will result in a) Rude stripping on the table b) Rufus passing out under the table c) Reno molesting the president's unconscious body d) Rude molesting Reno molesting the president e) Ambulance picking up Elena due to bloodloss
10. Spike punch
11. When Rufus needs to throw up, direct him to Hojos closet
12. Tell Reno hes not allowed to screw the president in the closet
13. Screw Reno, in closet
14. Make sure it isnt Hojos closet this time
15. Tell Reno hes not allowed to screw the president, damn it!
16. Calculations show that by now Rude ought to have stripped completely. Give this fact to Reno
17. Watch Rude screw Reno
18. Steal a couple of trademark long red hairs now stuck on Rudes shoulder
19. Take the intoxicated president back to his chambers
20. Screw the president
21. Leave stolen trademark long red hairs on presidents bed
22. Next morning, blame Reno
Tseng tapped the pen thoughtfully on the desk and nodded, satisfied. He loved lists.