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Non Smoking GenerationTitle: Non Smoking Generation
Author: Enide Dear
Warnings: will contain drably insanity
Main character: Reno. Also slight Valenwind

Summary: Reno has an inventive way to quit smoking.

Vincent blinked.

“Would you repeat that once more? Slowly.”

Reno rolled his eyes.

“I just asked what size your feet are, yo.”

“Yes, I got that much, but…why, again?”

“Because I’m trying to quit smoking!”

“Are you on drugs? Too much caffeine? Did Hojo inject you with something? Or are you telling me that made sense in your confused head?”

“Aw, c’mon.” Reno battered his eyes at

Child's playTitle: Child’s play
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: awfully cute
Pairing: RenoxRude

Summary: Reno and Rude gets a very special mission

Author’s note: Yes, I know. This has been done a million times before. But I have wanted to have a go at it!

Reno stared down at the mission Tseng had placed on his desk. It blew a saliva bubble at him and hiccupped.
“Your sense of humour is getting creepy, yo.” He said to Tseng, who was trying to wipe his suit clean on a towel.
“It’s not a joke, Reno. Rufus needs this…client…taken care of for at least a month. Kept safe and secret. See it as a prolonged vacation.

Soliders' flueTitle: Soldiers' flue
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: sick. litterally
Pairing: Uh…lots
Summary: The flue is spreading through ShinRa and guess who is stuck playing nurse?
A/N: Hehe, I know who will *love* this litte ficlett! And Sephy seems remarkably Loz - ish here.

It was a very excited Sephiroth that came running into the office Angeal and Genesis shared, cradling something that glowed faintly in his cupped hands.

"Look at this!" He shoved his hand underneath Genesis nose. "I've had my first nasal orgasm!"

"Goddess, Seph!" Genesis spluttered and recoiled disgusted. "I don't want to look at your snot!"

Perplexed, Sephiroth frowned

Father's dayTitle: Father’s day
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: CidxVincent
Rating: R – well, some swearing

Summary: In witch Cid is angsty, Vince is plotting and Chaos is used as a kitchen appliance. Also: Cloud is a dick, Tifa has PMS, Reeve has serious issues with dolls, Nanaki is a terrier, Barret is barely featured at all and Shera is non- existent. And Yuffie is…Yuffie.

No Remnants were harmed during the writing of this fic.

Written for :iconValenwind-luvers: Father’s day competition.

Dedicated to my Valenwind hero :iconHiita-hime:

Vincent knew something was wrong the moment he walked into the kitchen. Instead of being met b

Arty-fartyTitle: Arty-farty
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: Cute

Author’s note: The limerick is not mine! It belongs, in its original form, to padawan-san Erfan and she has kindly agreed to lend it to me for this fic. Cid’s glasses belongs to Hiita and I frankly stole them…
I know very little about art, so all those things I made up. The might make no sense whatsoever to anyone with any kind of art education. Also, it was very hard for me to find the correct English expressions. *bows in apologise*

Summary: I might not know much about art, but I know what I like…

Reeve bit his nails, nervously. The huge gallery was packed with peop

Soldiers' domestic argumentsTitle: Soldiers' domestic arguments
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: AngealxGenesis
Rating: cute, crossdressing
Summary: Soldier couples have their arguments as well
A/N: Damn, but I can't get the idea of tranny!Gen out of my head!

Angeal almost slammed the door shut, but came to his senses in the last minute and shut the door with exaggerated care. Turning to his lover, he hissed outraged:

"Why, Gen? Why is it that we never can go anywhere without you embarrassing me?"

Blue eyes sparked with fury as they stared back at him.

"Embarrassing *you*, darling?! Did you ever stop to think that this might have nothing to do with you at all? The

Broken 3 of 6Title: Broken 3/6 (or perhaps 7...sorry bout that ^^;)
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: I’m not telling…Yazoo centred. Will eventually star: Kadaj, Loz, Cloud, Zack, Heidegger, Reeve, Reno, Rude and perhaps more.
Rating: broken minds, angst, violence, smex

“Kindly explain once more, Reno.” Tseng sighed and sipped his coffee. The watch on the wall said four in the morning.

Sullen, Reno held a piece of paper against his split lip.

“They beat the crap out of us, a’right? What’s to explain? We didn’t get those weirdoes you sent us after.”

“You could have told us they were First Class Soldier tra

TornTitle: Torn
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: Nc - 17 just some swearing
Pairing: Vincent/Cid
Summary: Vincent is torn, Cid is good at mending

Authors' note: Ramblings, again, and awfully cute

Feedback: Will be adored and squeed over

Muses: All the Valenwind love I’ve been getting these past few days!

“Alright, take it off.” Cid said with a tone that indicated that protests would be pointless.

Vincent’s eyebrows almost touched his hairline.

“I beg your pardon?” he managed. He had a feeling that if he turned around, he’d find the entire Avalanche staring at them after Cid’s comment, but Cid seemed unr

HickeysTitle: Hickey
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: You *really* don’t want to know. Sephiroth centred
Pairing: insane

Summary: Sephiroth meets his match
Author’s note: I’m going to die impaled on Masamune. Yup.

Dedication: to Xxrosi-chanxx Yeah, you know why!

It was usual for the entire Soldier dining hall to go quiet when General Sephiroth entered, part myth and part the undeniable dangerous physical presence made even the greenest of rookies’ pipe down at the sight of the silver haired wonder. Some stared at the living legend, slack jawed and awestruck, others, a bit more experienced, simply lowered their voice a tad.

But

Kissing gamesTitle: Kissing games

Author: Enide Dear

Pairing: ….I went there. CidxSephiroth, Valenwind

Rating: Pretty cute

Summary: How could Cid and Sephiroth possibly end up together…. From a logical time perspective, this makes little sense, I’m afraid. Then again, from a logical time perspective, the Remnants are two years old, so….

Author’s note: Maybe Sephiroth will forgive me for the squid now?

Sephiroth was used to sneak attacks, back attacks, double attacks, feint attacks, unexpected attacks – it was the essential part of his training as well as an inbred quality to his person.

Maybe that was why he was so tak

A twisted mindTitle: A twisted mind
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Renaj! (RenoxKadaj) and Lozoo (LozxYazoo)
Rating: Depends on how dirty a mind you’ve got… in-yer-endoes!

Dedicated to: Phantom-chick who wanted some Renaj for Christmas!

Author’s note: Actually, this is somewhat based on a true story …personally, I thought it was very clever *grin*
If you don’t get it, think about the way Loz and Yazoo first saw it.

Reno’s obsessions where heartfelt and overwhelming but they flickered quickly from one thing to another. Currently his latest passion was cars, and he’d spent most of his savings (saved mostly due to a cert

Little ValenwindsTitle: Little Valenwinds
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: so sweet you’ll need to brush your teeth afterwards.
Pairing: CidxVince

Author’s note: Dedicated to Karasu92 and her incredibly adorable Vince and Cid chibis!

“Dear Holy,” Tifa said, stunned. “I had no idea there existed materia that could do that.”

“I, um, always thought it was a myth,” Cloud agreed.

“Aw, they’re so cute!” Yuffie cooed.

“Could ya lot stop yer yapping and help us get the fuck back to normal?!” Cid growled and pushed at his clothes that suddenly were several sizes to large; the blue sweater hung to his h

Family Bliss- the DateTitle: Family Bliss – the Date
Author: Enide dear
Pairing: Valenwind, Remnants, KadajxReno
Rating: cute

Warnings: Unconventional uses of ice cream….

Summary: I scream! You scream! We all scream when Kadaj gets an ice cream….

Dedicated to: Phantom-chick! If nothing else...it's flashy. *grin*

“You are a noisy, obnoxious, paranoid, annoying, loud, irritating and provocative man, and I should just kick you on the balls.” Vincent growled as he opened the door.

Reno was hanging on the doorbell, grinning.

“What? Is this the famous Valenwind hospitality? It sure have gone downhill since you lot used to invite in

I wish I had an angelTitle: I wish I had an angel.
Author: Enide Dear
Paring: Renaj and Lozoo. Gods, I love acronyms….
Rating: some making out going on. Slight AU.

Summary: Contains beer, crazy straws, Turk plans, concerned brothers and a mock arrest. Will save the handcuffs for later, though.

Author’s note: This was supposed to be a serious fic, but Loz and Yazoo ambushed me and bribed me into adding them. Thus the fic went downhill.
I suck at writing Yazoo, damn it! :shakefist:

Yeah, Reno knew Kadaj was no angel. Then again, who was? Not him, certainly. Still, it was kind of hard when he saw the three pale, silverhaired brothers enter 7:th He

Broken 4 of 7Title: Broken 4/7
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: I’m not telling…Yazoo centred. Will eventually star: Kadaj, Loz, Cloud, Zack, Heidegger, Reeve, Reno, Rude and perhaps more.
Rating: broken minds, angst, violence, smex

“Here, kitty, kitty, kitty…” Reeve drew his gun and spun around at the sound of a voice in the dark alley, but it was too late; a strong hand grabbed him by the scruff of his neck and hauled him up in to the air as if he weighed less than a glove. He didn’t have time to even scream for help as he was pulled in through a glass-less window and dumped on the floor of the old abandoned apartment. The g

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SnowTitle: Snow
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Valenwind
Rating: fluff
Summary: for :iconeru: in art trade for a Valenwind short comic!

The Gods-damned Weapons electro-attack had blown out the Highwinds Gods-damned heater system to Gods-damned Hell and now it was Gods damn it all *snowing*!"

Shivering with cold, Cid pried his fingers from the airship's wheel were it felt as if they had frozen to the metal and blew on them to try to get some feeling back. It didn't much work, but perhaps waving his cig under the palm…

"Chief."

The voice came directly behind him and Cid almost jumped out of his skin. The cig burned his hand and caused him

Coming homeTitle: Coming home
Author Enide Dear
Pairing: Remnants
Rating: violence
Summary: For :iconway2thedawn: traded for a Family Bliss fic!

Kadaj didn't want to admit it, but he was scared.

Not of the lab guards; he'd outsmarted them, fooled them to believe he was making an attempt to flee the lab and instead doubling back, heading deeper into the very core of ShinRa's huge, underground maze of laboratories. They were looking for him at the perimeters; he was at the core. It would take hours before they realised they'd been tricked.

He rubbed his cold sweaty hands on his pants and scowled at himself. He had nothing to be afraid of. They were

Wing UsesTitle: Wing uses

Author: Enide Dear

Pairing: AngealxGenesis

Rating: cute

Summary: Art trade with :iconVVKiti :One AngealxGenesis 'wing kink' fic for one Demon love icon!

A/N: GenGen. Oh, how I love you!

"It's not that bad, I suppose." Genesis gave the full-length mirror a critical look, turning slightly to peer over his shoulder at the black wing that fluttered behind him, bending it his way and that to test its flexibility. The feathers swished softly over his slim naked body and he preened at the effect. "It makes quite the contrast, after all. Ebony black against red hair and pale skin." He frowned as another feather fell the floor.

Cosmopolitan IIITitle: Cosmopolitan III

Author: Enide Dear

Pairing: Everyone! With lemon on top!

Rating: in-yer-endoes

Summary: Total fruit O.d.

"Mangoes." Rude squeezed the fruit gently. "And oranges."

"I agree with the mangoes for Cissney, big guy." Reno tossed him a pomegranate. "But Elena's totally these."

Rude made an unimpressed sound and started eyeing the cantaloupes while Reno rifled through the pile of fruit.

Both looked up as a shadow fell over the scratched and coffee-stained table in a corner of the employees lounge.

Two haughty Soldiers looked down their noses at them and the colourful pile, obviously in the mood to mess with some Turk

Cosmopolitan IITitle: Cosmopolitan II

Author: Enide Dear

Pairing: Turkcest

Rating: it's a fic with * Reno * in it. You figure it out!

Summary: Turks are such a naughty bunch

"They tortured me, yo." Reno said defensively to Rude's shaded frown. "Sat on me and pulled my hair and twisted my nipples and *everything*!"

Rude's frown got deeper. Reno subsided with a sigh.

"Fine, fine, so that just turned me on. But c'mon! It will be fun!"

Rude sighed and leaned back on the chair, crossing his arms and turning to the two Turk women who smiles at him like cats who'd gotten their claws in a bird. Cissney was armed with a pen and her glossy magazine, and Elena

CosmopolitanTitle: Cosmopolitan

Author: Enide Dear

Pairing: RenoxRude, also Cissney and Elena in fic

Rating: it's a fic with *Reno* in it. You figure it out!

Summary: mostly drabble

Cissney made a sour face and tapped her pencil on the paper.

"Alright. Let's move to the next question. What is Rude's middle name?"

"The fuck should I know?" Reno peered at her over his crossed arms, slouching over the little table at ShinRa's employeers lounge. "I don't even know his last name. P'rolly don't even remember my own these days."

"It's Sinclair." Elena shot in helpfully.

"If you say so, sweetheart." Reno shrugged - quite a feat when lying halfway cross

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ShinRa Christmas Party Rules

by *Enide-Dear, Aug 15, 2008, 1:43:49 AM
Fan Art / Fan Fiction

Title: ShinRa rules for the Christmas party
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Ummmm…..see the title
Rating: Nothing explicit, lots implied

Feedback: Will be adored and squeed over!

Author’s note: I wanted to write something with Tseng, but I didn’t have any good plot bunny. So I did what I usually do; I drabbled.
If this doesn’t confirm my state of mental insanity, I don’t know what will….

ShinRa rules for the Christmas party

Tseng believed in lists. It kept things nicely organised and structured and helped in remembering when and how things should work out to the greatest satisfaction of his boss. Presently, he was doodling away on the list for the upcoming ShinRa Christmas party as he sipped his morning coffe, drawing on his (admittingly slightly hazy) recollection of previous years’ parties….

1. Tell Reno he’s not allowed to screw the president
2. Give Elena tissues for nosebleed in advance. Last year she bitched like hell over her ruined gown.
3. Tell Hojo he’s not allowed to bring his research projects to the party
4. Not even as snacks
5. Lock in Hojo in closet, a.s.a.p. TOP PRIORITY
6. Remind Reno - firmly - he’s not allowed to screw the president
7. Burn Rude’s horribly cheesy glittery Christmas tie
8. Steal Reno’s prod-rod and use it to keep Elena at bay
9. Remember that spiking the punch will result in a) Rude stripping on the table b) Rufus passing out under the table c) Reno molesting the president's unconscious body d) Rude molesting Reno molesting the president e) Ambulance picking up Elena due to bloodloss
10. Spike punch
11. When Rufus needs to throw up, direct him to Hojo’s closet
12. Tell Reno he’s not allowed to screw the president in the closet
13. Screw Reno, in closet
14. Make sure it isn’t Hojo’s closet this time
15. Tell Reno he’s not allowed to screw the president, damn it!
16. Calculations show that by now Rude ought to have stripped completely. Give this fact to Reno
17. Watch Rude screw Reno
18. Steal a couple of trademark long red hairs now stuck on Rude’s shoulder
19. Take the intoxicated president back to his chambers
20. Screw the president
21. Leave stolen trademark long red hairs on presidents bed
22. Next morning, blame Reno

Tseng tapped the pen thoughtfully on the desk and nodded, satisfied. He loved lists.

ShinRa Christmas Party Rulesby *Enide-Dear

Fan Art / Fan Fiction

©2008-2013 *Enide-Dear

Title: ShinRa rules for the Christmas party
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Ummmm…..see the title
Rating: Nothing explicit, lots implied

Feedback: Will be adored and squeed over!

Author’s note: I wanted to write something with Tseng, but I didn’t have any good plot bunny. So I did what I usually do; I drabbled.
If this doesn’t confirm my state of mental insanity, I don’t know what will….

Edited as I thought up a new ending!

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~CrazyrandomKHfangirl Apr 4, 2013 Student Writer

lolz made my day

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*Enide-Dear Apr 6, 2013

Thanks!

Reply

Mood: Love

~Tamie-Lee Sep 23, 2012 Hobbyist General Artist

That's one Christmas party I would most love to be invited to XD

Reply

*Enide-Dear Sep 24, 2012

Me to!

Reply

Mood: Love

~fireflower101 Nov 11, 2011

Reply

~okami-terrior-darc Nov 10, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

-falls out of chair laughing- oww...Amazing as always!

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*Enide-Dear Nov 11, 2011

Haha, thanks! ShinRa is an amazing place

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~SinsofMidnight Sep 17, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

This is epic! I love lists, too... and Christmas parties with open bars or spiked punch XD

A plotting Turk is a wonderful Turk

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*Enide-Dear Sep 20, 2011

I'd looooove to go to that christmas party! Even if I would ruin my dress

And Turks are always plotting!

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~SinsofMidnight Sep 20, 2011 Hobbyist General Artist

Me, too, lol.

...I love my plotting Turks

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