Soliders' flue

Title: Soldiers' flue
Author: Enide Dear
Rating: sick. litterally
Pairing: Uh…lots
Summary: The flue is spreading through ShinRa and guess who is stuck playing nurse?
A/N: Hehe, I know who will *love* this litte ficlett! And Sephy seems remarkably Loz - ish here.




It was a very excited Sephiroth that came running into the office Angeal and Genesis shared, cradling something that glowed faintly in his cupped hands.

"Look at this!" He shoved his hand underneath Genesis nose. "I've had my first nasal orgasm!"

"Goddess, Seph!" Genesis spluttered and recoiled disgusted. "I don't want to look at your snot!"

Perplexed, Sephiroth frowned at him.

"Why not? You always want a close up view when I…"

"That is different!" Genesis stared repulsed at the glowing mako residue in the war hero's hand. "What is wrong with you?!"

*Wrong question, Gen.* Angeal sighed and got between his two friends before the fight could start, handing the silver haired man a few tissues to clean himself up with.
Then he frowned as a thought hit him.

"Wait…Sephiroth, did you just say you sneezed?" A chill of dread slid down his back.

"Yes. What of it?" The war hero still sulked a little over his friends' lack of enthusiasm.

"Oh no!" Genesis caught on, hurriedly backing away from Sephiroth. "You hab a cold? How is dat eved possible?"

"Why are you talking like that?" Sephiroth at least had the decency of turning away before he sneezed.  

Genesis stared in horror. Then he started coughing like his lunges were on fire.

Angeal backed away slowly and reached for this cell phone.

"Director? We have a problem…."


"I don't usually oppose orders, sir. But why me?" Angeal hoped he didn't sound as whiny as he felt but was pretty sure he failed.

"What options do we have?" Lazard spread his hands. "Whatever bug those two caught it was potent enough to send two of the strongest First Class Soldiers in the history of ShinRa to bed. We have to isolate them to make sure it won't spread to the public. Gods knows what it would do to civilians. And ShinRa's good name."

"I suppose so, sir." Angeal sighed. "And I have to take care of them because…." he let the words trail away.

"Again, we can't risk civilians." Lazard nodded. "I'll leave you to it then. I'll go get the Turks on trying to figure out where this came from. It might be an undercover attack."

"Yes, sir."

As the director left, Angeal heaved a sigh and felt his shoulders slump. In the huge bed that constituted most of Genesis' apartment, his two best friends lay cuddled down under heavy blankets, looking sweaty and miserable with runny red noses and shiny eyes. Every now and then one of them coughed so hard the bed rattled.

"I'll make you some hot tea with honey." He squared his shoulders, trying to work up some enthusiasm. He'd taken care of sick siblings before, when he was a child, and he hadn't liked it much then. He doubted he'd enjoy it more now.

"Great," a raspy voice from behind made him jump high. "Pour some booze in mine, yo."

"Reno?! What are you doing here?" Angeal stared as the red-head Turk wiped his nose on his sleeve and then started undressing, crawling into bed with the two Soldiers who were too sick to protest.

"Boss send me. Orders. Everyone found sick in ShinRa is to be isolated here. Fuck, my throat feels like a cheeze grater!" He started pulling at Sephiroth's blankets, realized the futility in it and settled for cozing up to the war hero who was snoring through a clogged nose. "How 'bout that booze?"

"Great idea." Genesis coughed. "Got some applebrandy in the cupboard. Use that."

"Alcohol won't help you recover!" Angeal growled.

"Yeah it does," Reno nodded. "Kills bacteria. That's why I always carry a bottle around. Got lots of internal damage needs tending to."

"It won't harm and at least it will make laying around here more fun." Genesis sneezed.

"No." Angeal turned and headed for the kitchen.


The tea was just distributed - with just a hint of brandy - when there were a knock on the door. Angeal's heart skipped a beat when he saw a miserable heap outside.

"'Geal?" Zack whined. "I don't feel so good."

"Come on, puppy." Zack was shivering when he lifted him up, and there were mako green stains on his clothes were he'd sneezed. Angeal helped him to undress and then watched as his puppy burrowed down under the blankets next to Reno. Sephiroth was once more awake and curled around his tea cup.

"You're hot." Zack mumbled as he crawled up next to the Turk, holding onto him like he was a teddy bear.

"I get that a lot." Reno coughed. "Why does my snot glow in the dark? I ain't even mako enhanced!"

"Is he warm?" Genesis shuffled up next to them. "Oh, dat is so good!"

"Yeah, I get that a lot to," Reno fell back onto the pillows, more or less buried between the two Soldiers.


Angeal had barely time to boil up some more water before his cell phone rang.

"Tseng?" He balanced the phone on his shoulder because his hands were busy with tea, brandy and more blankets. Why hadn't the mako given him something useful, like a third hand?

"Mr. Hewley. I think we have found the source of the infection." There was a small, annoyed sigh. "It's Hojo."

"Why am I not surprised?" He growled, tucking Sephiroth and stroking back Zack's sweaty hair from his face.

"Apparently he wanted to try out a new virus - withouth permission - and did so on Sephiroth two days ago. The good thing is, the virus is not lethal nor does it spread by air or normal contact." There was a small pause. "It does however spread by sexual  contact."

"So that's why I have one of your Turks down here."

Another pause.

"Which one?"

"Who do you think?"

"Oh." Angeal could almost *hear* the smug Turk bastard smile. "Expect more company soon, then." And the phone clicked dead.

About two minutes later there were a faint scraping - audiable only for mako ears - at the door, and a dark shadow moved in. Rude managed to get off his tie and jacket before he fell down on the bed across the foot send, face first down and snoring. The motion caused a general stirring and protesting and spilled tea.

"Aw, poor baldy." Reno rasped and managed to get free from the double octopus that was Genesis and Zack, crawling down to his partner.

"No! Our heat source!" Genesis coughed. "Get him back up here!"

"It's alright. We can still use him to warm our feet." Sephiroth prodded his toes against Reno who grunted and swatted uselessly at them.

Angeal crossed his arms, glaring at them.

"You should all be ashamed of yourself. Tseng just told me the this virus spreads by sexual contacts. If you could have just kept it in your pants, you wouldn't be in this trouble." Three pairs of mako eyes watched him with sullen shame, fiddling with the blankets and generally avoiding eye contact. "I expect this kind of behavious from them -" he pointed at the heap of red hair and dark skin that was the Turks "- but you are First Class Soldiers! You should know better. I'm tempted to just leave you here and…"

The door opening interrupted his scolding and he almost dropped his jaw as Director Lazard came in, sniffling and coughing and already taking of his clothes.

"Not a word, Angeal," he rasped as he lay down in the midst of his Soliders, who runny nosed but smugly cozied up to him. "And if you'd please change these blankets? There's tea on them."

"And get us some more of that tea and brandy, would you darling?"

"And some more tissues."

"And help me get Rude out of these damn clothes."

"And could you make some chickensoup?"

"Call Cloub," Zack coughed.

"What?"

"Cloub. Cloub!" Zack flapped his arms. "Call Cloub! He probably got it to!"

Angeal gritted his teeth, fisted his hands, and got to work.


The doorbell rang a few minutes later.

"What now?!" Angeal growled as he flung the door open.

Someone sneezed straight at his face. If it hadn't been for the lowered visor of the man's helmet, Angeal doubted even mako reactions would have saved him, but as it was, he feared to find out just what mess was behind that thing.

"Kunsel?" There came a croak for answer and Angeal felt himself give up. Most of all he just wanted to run away, but he couldn't do that. Honour was such a burden sometimes.


The bed was getting crowded, the blonde litte trooper now in the middle getting coddled by Zack and Sephiroth, something that seemed to scare him sensless, Lazard, Rude and Genesis in a somewhat untidy pile and Reno using Kunsel as a pillow. Empty tea cups, dirty bowls of chicken soup and mako-glowing tissue was *everywhere* and seemed to propagate everytime Angeal turned his back.


There was a polite knock at the door. Angeal feared the worse, but it was a very healthy looking Tseng who waited outside for him.

"Mr. Hewley. I just wanted to thank you for the good work you have been doing…and might I add you look quite fetching in an apron?"

"I don't have time to do more laundry," Angeal answered a bit stiffly. "And this frilly thing was all Gen had. Don't tell me you are sick as well?"

"Of course not."

"Well, I'm glad someone in this company can keep their pants on for more than 48 hours."

"Not at all. I just practice safe sex." Tseng didn't even blush. "You'll be glad to hear that this flue is a 24 hour thing. They - " he nodded at the pile "- will be as good as new tomorrow."

"Thank Gods!"

"Feel free if you want to, but I've never felt it necessary. I will see you tomorrow then." He bowed politely - carefully *not* taking Angeal's sticky hand - and left.


"Angeal? Angeal!" A hand shook his shoulder and Angeal cracked open a bleary eye. It revealed Genesis face, concerned, newly washed and looking  annoyingly perky. Angeal himself hadn't slept all night; with so many to take care of there was always someone awake and wanting something. He tried to swat the hand away but the motion fell short of its goal. "Are you alright, love?"

The answer started as a 'Yes', but ended in a cough. Gods, his chest was aching!

"He's burning up. Fever." That was Rude, also sounding fresh.

"Poor 'Geal! Help me get him into bed." Puppy, boucy as always.

Strong hands got him up and fumbled his clothes off. Sephiroth helped him down underneath the blankets and he curled up as the shivers took him.

"Here, give him a hot water bottle. He doesn't have the luxury of warming his feet on a Turk." Lazard bedded down something warm and nice by his back. The heat helped the ache and chills a little.

"I'll make some tea. Is there brandy left?" Kunsel hurried away.

It was pretty nice, being coddled like this. Angeal sneezed and muttered, mostly for show:

"I aidn't sick."

"Yeah, right." Reno grinned. "The only question is, who gave it to you, yo?"

Angeal decided he was far too sick to answer that question.