Steampunk pirates part I

Title: Steampunk pirates part I
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Valenwind….ish
Rating: Cid’s mouth is being worse than usual
Summary: Remember that had a steampunk pirate contest way back? I started writing on this for it, but never had time to finish because it grew, and it grew, and it grew…..and it grew….


A pilot without an airship was about as useful as a one-armed man with a malfunctioning gunarm, wich was probably why the two men had gravitated together in the seedy little lower-plate bar, finding common ground in the way the world seemed to go out of its way to fuck up their lives. Down here the beer was cheap, the vodka was homemade and the bargirl had huge tits although the latter fact was pretty lost on the two by now very drunk men.  It was always dark down here, and the depressing weight of the huge upper plate seemed to crush down on everyone. Cid Highwind, once the most infamous sky pirate to roam the aircurrents, was by no means claustrophobic but he was use to the open space of the sky and he couldn't quite repress a shudder. Barret Wallace, an ex-coal miner and since his prosthetic arm stopped working, ex-body guard was far more used to cramped, dark spaces but he had other concerns than himself to think about. A daughter at home, and with his mechanical arm broken no chance of making a living to support her. A week or two and they'd both be living on the streets. Cid to, for that matter. Although he was physically fit the loss of his airship made him feel as useless and amputated as Barret. None of them spoke much now that they had bitched their life stories to one another, taking turns to curse ShinRa who had put them both were they were.

They both looked up as the barboy, a blonde young man with outrageous hair, stepped up and placed two beers in front of them.

"Didn't fucking order this," Cid grabbed the beer and drained it before the kid could take it back. "Can't afford it." He belched as the put down the empty bottle.

The young man looked annoyed, but shook his head.

"It's from the man over there. Says he wants to talk to Cid Highwind, the pirate captain."

Blinking his eyes at the gloom, Cid could vaguely make out the outline of a dark clad figure, a deathly pale face and a body that seemed drawn out, as if all limbs were just an inch or two longer than those of a normal person. Red eyes flared in the gloom.

"Sure. Ya tell Mr. Tall, dark and rapist over there ta come over and I'll let him talk ta Cid Highwind, minus the pirate captain thing."

The bar boy went away, exchanged a few words with the tall stranger, and the man walked over, hunching slightly as if he was uncomfortable in his own skin. But those almost too long - *almost, jest almost*- limbs were all grace as he sat down between the two men, both of whom dwarfed him several times over by sheer shoulder berth.

"Which one of you are captain Cid Highwind?" His voice was low and dark.

"I'm Cid Highwind." Cid pointed at himself with a work glove clad thumb. "But I ain't a captain anymore."

The stranger frowned and Cid felt compelled to explain.

"Don't get a boyfriend who's a ShinRa. They'll fucking trick ya, drug ya and steal yer ship! And a man without an airship ain't a captain of anything."

"He wasn't your boyfriend. Reno just seduced you for a night. And you weren't drugged, just drunk." Barret grunted into his own beer. "An' the only tricked he pulled was dumping you off your own ship when you were sleeping it off."

"Shut up! Ya make it sound even more sordid!" Cid glared at him.

"Don't think that's possible," Barret muttered.

“I can give you an airship,” the Tall Dark Stranger cut in.

Both men stared at him. You didn’t just go around promising a million gil airship to people.

“What, yer like Santa Claus?”

“Not really. I want something in return.”

“’Course ya do. Can’t have my virtue though. Lost it years ago. Still have the stick it came on, if yer interested.”

Tall dark and handsome just stared. Barret face palmed.

“Ask the man his fuckin’ name before you try to get into his pants, Highwind! Show some gods-damned manners!”

“Fine, fine. I’m Cid Highwind, this is Barret Wallace, and yer the handsome Santa Claus with a bag full of tricks…ow!” Barret had punched him.

“My name is Vincent Valentine. I need the best airship captain I can get. Is that you?”

“It is if ya can get me a ship, yeah.”

“If I can get you on to a ship, can you fly it, avoiding capture, land down a crater, fight off hostile planes and escape, shaking off possibly every other Shinra ship in the world?”

“Does living next ta a mako reactor make you shit glowing green?”

Tall dark and sexy kept staring. He probably didn’t get out much.

“That’s a yes,” Barret sighed, the evenings designated idiot-translator.

“Good.” Vincent Tall Dark Man of Dreams Valentine rose up and prepared to leave. “Pack your belongings and meet me at the Loveless Avenue in an hour.”

“Wait!” Cid grabbed his arm, a bit taken back when he discovered that it, like Barret’s, was prosthetic. No, not like Barret’s. Barret’s had been a hardworking, sophisticated machine before it broke down, able to be a weapon or a working tool as needed. This was simply an evil, evil looking claw. “I want him along. For back-up fire. He’s a body guard, might be useful. Full pay, the whole deal.”

Barret just stared at him as if seeing a light in the end of the tunnel. Then he slumped.

“Not much use anymore, am I? Not with my arm broken down like this. I’m just dead weight.”

“Hell nah, yer not! All ya need is a bit of materia ta power it and it will be right as rain again.”

“Yeah, and all *you*need is an airship and that ain’t looking to happen…” Barret bristled, but Valentine interrupted.

“I can get you materia, if you join us. We might need fire power were we are going.”

Again Cid and Barret stared at him.

“Who the hell are you? You can’t just go around pulling airships and materia ouf of yer pants!”

“I know some other things I wanna see him pull out of his pants – ow!”

Vincent sighed a bit as the bickering began again.

“Loveless Avenue in one hour. Pack your stuff.”

“I wanna pack your stuff!” Came one last shout before Vincent stepped out into the eerily mako-lit night.


There were no airship waiting for them at the Avenue, but Vincent Valentine was, standing dead still in the middle of the plaza like a skinny gargoyle. He did not look pleased when he saw what was riding on Barret’s shoulders.

“This is not for children.” He glanced at the girl who stuck out her tongue at him.

“I aint’ leaving her behind. There ain’t no safe place around here where she can stay.” Barret planted his feet. “Now, materia and pay or I aint going nowhere.”

Vincent looked long and hard at the girl, then sighed. He handed over a shimmering something to Barret, no more than a sliver.

“The Hell is this? I ain’t never seen materia like this before.” Barret turned it over in his hand.

“It is…proto materia. It should work. I could only spare you a little, though it will be enough.”

“This little sliver is enough to power my whole gunarm? Damn.” Sliding the sliver into place in the artificial arm, Barret stared as the thing lit up, suddenly pulsing as with its own life, shifting smoothly between machine gun and hand. Merlened whooped with joy.  “Holy crap, I wonder what the whole piece of this proto material could animate!”

Vincent didn’t answer, but looked distinctively uncomfortable.

“Yeah that’s all cute and stuff, now where the Hell is my airship?” Cid was turning and twisting, glancing upwards as if he expected it to come crashing down on his head any second.

“It is not here. But we will retrieve it.”

“How? I don’t even know where the Hell my baby is!”

Red eyes flared. Then, without warning, a hellish red mako light lit up the tall gunman, engulfing him in flames and smoke. In his stead, a huge, purple, behorned monster stood, roaring at the night sky.  Neither Cid nor Barret had time to recoil as the beast moved forward, placed its huge paws on Cid’s shoulders and breathed in, deeply and very wetly. Then it howled in triumph and started bounding down the street.

“Cutie doggie!” Marlene exclaimed delighted.

“Holy Hell was that?!” Cid’s knees quavered. His stubbled chin glistened with demon drool.

“Don’t know, but I think it likes you. Move Highwind, before it gets away!” Like an unstoppable tank, Barret ran after the demon, with Cid at his heels.


The demon led them through the Underplates seediest areas, getting more and more rundown and dangerous for every block. Even so, no one as much as dared approach them; not two huge, heavily armed men and a snarling demon. Finally the demon stopped at a tall, razor clad fence that crackled with electricity. There was another glint of Hell, and Vincent sank to his knees, coughing and retching in the stench of demon fire. Turning himself into a demon had taken a hard toll; his lithe frame was shaking and his hands twitching with involuntary spasms.  He wiped something from the corners of his mouth before the other men could see what it was.

“Ya alright?!” Cid caught the gunman as he staggered to his feet, surprised and distraught over how fragile he felt; the bones were as frail as a bird’s and he weight almost nothing.

“I’m fine. There is your airship, captain.” Vincent shook the hands off his shoulders and pointed.

Inside the fence several large piles of metal, rubber, glass and various electronics could be seen; bolt cutters, electric saws, sledgehammers and men working, tearing and cutting machines could be seen everywhere. Despite the late hour, the work continued, slashing and tearing at old machines and the yard was lit with industrial strength lamps and the glow of mako powered cutters.

Cid had a fit.

“A scrapyard?! They’ve taken my baby to a scrapyard?! I’m gonna kill them! I’m gonna kill them and then I’m gonna fucking revive them and kill them again! And then I’m gonna….”

“It doesn’t look like they’ve started demolish it yet,” Barret said, ignoring the irate pilot. “But we’d better hurry.”

Vincent nodded. He gave the airship a cursory glance, the pilot a measuring one and then disappeared in a new flash of Hellfire.

This time the demon was if possibly worse: a scrawny figure whose face was covered by a mask and who held a heavy, dangerous chainsaw. The figure took a lumbering step forward. Marlene shrieked and hid behind her daddy while Cid and Barret lowered their weapons at the monster, sweating with fear. The figure took another step. Then it stopped and some sort of internal strife seemed to wrack its body. With a hissing scream the demon subsided and left its intended victims to instead slash a huge whole in the chain link fence. The demon shuffled through as the alarm went off and the two men and girl followed.

“Not much for stealth, huh?” Barret grunted as they darted for the airship while workers screamed and fled all around them. From somewhere behind they could hear guards and dogs.

“The Hell ya complaining about? The man’s like a multi-use tool – a demon for every occasion.” Cid grinned as he rushed for his airship and with unbelievable grace dragoon jumped to the platform by its main door. He punched the button that lowered the stair and rushed inside even as the Vincent-demon lumbered up and Barret provided backup fire to keep the guards at bay.  The airship started with a smooth swish of well-maintained engines and blinking tail lights.

“Vincent!” Cid screamed as the man collapsed on the floor just inside the airship, almost making Marlene and Barret trample him. The gunman looked deathly pale and sick, his cloak sprawled out around him like a pool of blood.

“Fly the damn ship, chief,” he winced, red eyes flaring in anger. “They’re coming after us!”

A quick glance out the window showed that Vincent was right; from afar several blinking lights showed that ShinRa had not taken lightly to the abduction of one of ‘their’ airship – even if they only wanted to scrap it, and a lot closer came the buzzing sound of helicopters closing in.

“We really pissed them off,” Cid said pleased as he roared the engines and let the Highwind soar and fly. “Get the man to a room, Barret, I’ve got this. Ain’t no one gonna catch us now, not with the best captain in the world at the helm!”

“No! I need to stay. In case things get out of hand.” With Barret’s help Vincent managed to get propped up against a wall but even that reclining position seemed to tap the strength from him. He was pale and shaking and he clutched his head with his flesh hand as if his he feared it would split apart.

“Got another demon rescue up yer sleeve, huh? Well, ya ain’t gonna need it, ‘cause I’m the best gods-damned pilot in the world!”

“Let’s hope so. ‘Cause he barely had the last one under control.” Barret grunted as the Highwind shot sky-high with a roar. “And it ain’t looking like the next one’s gonna be better.”

Cid scowled at the insinuation of his lack of ability to get them out, but Vincent must have taken Cid’s words at face value. He slumped a bit futher and leaned his head back against the wall.

“Thank you, captain.”

Preening like a peacock, Cid prepared to leave all of ShinRa eating his sky-dust.