Stuck

Title: Stuck
Author: Enide Dear
Pairing: Valenwind
Rating: cute
Summary: In-yer-endoes?


“Chief, what have you *done to me*?!” Vincent’s aghast cry made Cloud stop dead outside the Inn’s room, his belly making an uncomfortable lurch.

“Oh, stop yer whining! Ya wanted it last night!” Cid’s grumble was thick with hang-over and Cloud felt a chill run down his spine. Cid and Vincent had gotten pretty drunk last night – Gaia knew how the pilot had talked the gunman into that – and they’d clung to one another, giggling, as they finally called it a night and stumbled up to their room.

“I most certainly did not! You *did* this to me, Highwind! Against my will!” Vincent seems outraged. “No doubt to satisfy your own quirks and now I have to bear around this, this, mark of shame!”

Cloud didn’t know what to do; like the rest of Avalanche he’d only waited for the two to end up in bed, but now it seemed something had gone terribly, terribly wrong.

“Ya said ya liked it yesterday – nah, ya said ya loved it!” Cid sounded slightly embarrassed, but only slightly.

“I was drunk! You should have known better – you’re a grown man, you shouldn’t be abusing someone drunk!” Vincent sounded on the verge of crying.

“I was drunk to!” Cid defended himself. Cloud wondered if he should do something, walk in and try to sort things out before they killed one another, but he honestly didn’t know what he could do. He raised his hand to the door.

“Well, get it out! Now!”  Vincent demanded. Cloud quickly snatched his hand away. “I can’t have it there all day, and you’re not leaving it in!”

“Alright, alright, jest stay still!” Cid snickered. “But ya know, ya look very cute…”

“I do not intend to show myself off as a woman to the world, chief, nor let you get any pleasure from bragging with what you’ve done to me.” Vincent’s voice was ice cold. “Now, get. It. Out!”

“I’m trying! It’s stuck!”

Cloud felt slightly nauseous.

“What?!” Vincent squealed.

“I can’t get it out. It seems to be stuck!” There came a few grunts and some pained noises from Vincent.

“Ow, ow, ow! Stop it, it hurts!”

“Then I’m afraid yer stuck with it in there…”

“Oh, no I’m not. Cut it off!” Vincent’s voice shivered just a little. “Take a scissor and snip it off, Highwind.”

“Hell no, I won’t!” Cid sounded as shocked as Cloud felt.

“You did this to me, now you solve it. It will grow back in time…” *It will?* Cloud thought bewildered.  “And you can even keep your precious little thingie in the mean time. Put it on a string around your neck for all I care…”

That thought almost made Cloud faint.

“…but get it out of me! Now! Ow!”

“Sorry, I jest needed to try one more thing…um, Vince?”

“What?”

“We might have a problem.”

“Oh, now you notice, do you?”

“I mean…I’m stuck.”

“You are what?!”

“My fingers got stuck in there when I tried to get it out…”

“Highwind, you miserable, good for nothing, hick! Now what are we supposed to do?”

“Maybe ya can reach back here…”

“Oh, no, there’s enough stuck back there as it is. I’m not getting messed up as well. Ow! Don’t pull, it isn’t helping!”

“Sorry. Look, we’re gonna need some help here.”

“No!” Vincent screamed. “This is embarrassing enough…”

Cloud’s hand seemed to have a life of its own. He opened the door.

Two blushing faces turned towards him, blue eyes and red equally distraught. Cid, in boxer shorts with little planes on them, had a squirming Vincent in black silk shorts in his lap, the gunman’s back turned to the pilot whose fingers were stuck in the fall of black hair. In the midst of the silky locks was a very neat French braid, complete with a cute blue bow. Somehow, Cid’s fingers had ended up stuck in the ribbon.

All three men blushed deeply.

“Yeah, so…”Cid cleared his throat and started over. “Some help here?”

“On one condition.” Cloud said firmly. “We leave this door *open*!”