Texts from last night

Vincent: Have you been drinking, chief?
Cid: Yep
Vincent: How much?
Cid: I’m about a drink and a half away from gay
Vincent: I’m coming over


Rude: I’ve had about enough of his asshole to last me all year
Tseng: Please tell me you are talking about his personality


Hojo: As far as relationships go, labpartners with benefits pretty much takes the cake


Reno: you know boss, sometimes you have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child
Rufus: You know that’s bullshit because you are the reason it’s bullshit


Reno. Define ‘illegal’. Your idea of it and my idea of it are in separate universes


Zack: So, you threw a sword at me last night
Sephy. I honestly wish I could say that I was surprised


Cloud: They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.


Zack: I think I pulled a muscle in my tounge last night.
Cissney: Sorry? Thank you? I love you?


Yuffie: So, you and Cloud finally did it, huh? Was he any good?
Tifa: I sort of lowered my expectations when he started of saying ‘ah missionary, my specialty’.


From: Zack
To: Angeal
Z: I need you to bring a pair of pants, a bolt cutter and four bandaids to Kunsels room. No questions, please.

Rude: It’s just that if you don’t send me random pics of your balls or ass or both at least once a month I start worrying that we’re not friends.

From: Zack
To: Cissney
Z: I’m not really sure actually, until I fell in love with a boy (just a few weeks ago) I thought my attraction to men was purely physical
C: So you were gay….and then you realized you were EVEN MORE gay

From: Veld
To: Reeve

V: sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer form the future with lasers
R: This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot


Kunsel: Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I’d say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up at work except you know…it’s her fault.

Tseng. Well sir, if anyone could figure out how to piss on a person’s soul, it would be you.
Rufus: You always know what to say to make me feel better.

Elena: Yeah, probably not. I have a hair apt, a gun class and hopefully a boy to fuck. I’m booked.

Reno: We had to use the stains on Rude’s shirt to try to piece together what happened last night.

Zack: Look Angeal, I’ve seen you dance. Let’s just say it’s a good think you don’t have a small dick.

Zack: I watched her choke out a bouncer with the broken strap from her purse. I think she’s the one.

Reno. It was like teleporting. Everytime I opened my eyes I was somewhere diferent…usually on the floor

From: Zack
To: sephiroth
Z: I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That’s my job.